The Winter Body

It’s December 2nd which means I can officially say Happy Holidays! I can’t believe its already the end of 2019 but I am happy to be celebrating with all of you on The Internet! The holiday season can also bring up a lot of emotions and to be honest I am feeling all of them. A time of reflection is always complicated and I am trying to be compassionate with myself, even though it can sometimes be easier said than done. This time of year means cold weather, staying inside, the sun disappearing by 3pm and of course eating all of the foods. And for me, all of this creates the perfect environment to struggle with body issues…

I have always struggled with my body and I wish it didn’t have as much power over me as it does. I love to eat but my relationship with food is complicated. I love it but I hate it. It can make me feel great, but it also can make me feel bad and wishing I didn’t need two bite brownies all of them time, especially frozen ones and never room temperature. But I do. And often.

It’s a daily struggle, but thankfully I have amazing friends, AND a great therapist, who continue to help me battle that terrible inner dialogue that says I’m not good enough. It’s slow and arduous work but I am way better than I was a few years ago. I know this is true because I presently wear wide leg cropped jeans on a weekly basis even though the camel toe struggle is very real...

In an attempt to overcome my Winter Body Struggles I am making daily efforts to make myself feel good. November to March can be a real body spiral sweet spot so I thought I would share some Feel Good tips and tricks.

QUICK DISCLAIMER: this is what I do to feel better and it may not be your way to feel good. So please take what you need and leave what you don’t.

To break my Winter Rut: I like to blast music and sing it as loudly and as confident as possible. Usually at a decibel that keeps my neighbours entertained but not annoyed. And then I slowly do my makeup & hair. I don’t rush, I take my time, I pull out my hot curlers from the 1980’s and I ENJOY THE PROCESS. This differs from my usual routine of being 20 minutes late, rushing out the door with a toothbrush in my mouth, looking like more sweater than woman, while my Uber keeps texting “I HAVE ARRIVED WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!”. The slow get ready is truly my favourite thing to do but it’s hard to find the time, especially when your ass is madly in love with your sweatpants. But every time I do it, I think WHY DON’T YOU DO THIS MORE?! WHY DON’T YOU TAKE THE TIME TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL PRETTY?!

My current Feel Good inspiration has come courtesy of makeup artist and style guru Katie Jane Hughes. Every time I scroll through Instagram her makeup looks, and style makes me wanna shake up my own routine. I tried her Pink and Red makeup challenge on a day where I felt ANYTHING but glamorous and let me tell you I finished doing my makeup and never felt better. This was the look.

Her rules were simple, try to achieve this look using only what you have. I ripped off my sweatpants, I blasted Pop Music, grabbed my fav budget makeup, put on a cute blouse I stole from my best friend Danielle and allowed myself to just play around. What resulted was a 33 year old feeling HERSELF. Winter blues were not around that day even though my camel toe refused to leave the party.

This is what I used:

And this is how it made me feel.

This might seem small and silly but I felt amazing that day and wasn’t worried about what I wasn’t, instead I was celebrating what I was. Which was much needed.

Speaking of Winter Glamour…

This week I am so excited to introduce you to your next Internet Friend. Everyone meet Ann Pornel (@Glampornel).

You can catch Ann writing & performing on every damn TV show like Baroness Von Sketch Show, This Hour Has 22 Minutes, Private Eyes and The Beaverton. And don’t miss Ann Feb 4-9th performing in the incredible Second City Revue “She The People” at the CAA Theatre. Tickets HERE

Ann is truly one of the most glamorous people I know and I can’t tell you how much I am inspired by her. She was so lovely and generous to offer her wisdom to the RG Newsletter and we are not worthy…

Winter. Is there anything better? Yes. Lots of things, including but not limited to: spring, summer, fall, and getting your period hard and fast on a day you’re not prepared for your menstrual cycle to come screaming out into the world. But just because your part of the world is eclipsed in a soul-crushing darkness for 5 months of the year doesn’t mean you can’t look like the bright shining star that you are. Here are 3 quick tips to help you put the “glam” in “winter.” WinGLAMter? Sure. We’ll go with it.

Moisturizer - Snakeskin patterns are tres chic but only on purses and shoes, not your skin. Squirt on some lotion and hydrate your desperately dry skin. You know you’ve put on enough moisturizer if your clothing is stained with embarrassing white goo. You'll leave people wondering, "Is that...? That's probably lotion, right? It can't be... Should we tell her...?" INTRIGUE! MYSTERY! GLAMOUR!  Remember: Thirst is for traps, not your dermis.

“Me exfoliating in the winter”

Faux Fur anything - The best coat I’ve ever bought was a pink faux fur number from Forever 21. It has 2 buttons, doesn’t even close properly, but the compliments I get from it every time I wear it out is more than enough to keep me warm. The only downside is people will constantly want to touch you, but if you’re single like me, you’ll take all the human touch you can get.

“Squad heading to the club”

Waterproof Boots - There’s nothing more glamorous than warm, dry feet so the top winter accessory are sturdy, warm, waterproof boots. You’re not a hero for wearing heels, you’re a menace to society with a death wish.

“Not even Bambi can pull off this lewk"

This week’s post might seem corny but maybe you need the permission to try something new, or to feel pretty, OR to laugh at a 30 something woman feeling herself. Either way, I regret nothing. The winter can be tough but not as tough as we can be on ourselves. So be kind, treat yourself, and know that small changes make big differences!

See you all next week!

-Stacey

AS SEEN ON TV

Nov.26.2019 vol.02

Welcome to Week TWO of the RG Newsletter! Thanks to everyone who signed up, and reached out, it meant a lot xo. This week is all about being under the influence… of celebrity. Didn’t that sound so dramatic?!

This week I was lured in by a celebrity and they got me where it hurts the most, my wallet. It all started after last weeks Regular Girls w/ Natalie Metcalfe (check her out at Second City). We chatted all things pop culture, including “BravoCon” and of course our fav reality show “Vanderpump Rules”.

I joked about going to see Stassi Schroeder’s live Podcast tour and Natalie didn’t even bat an eye. She supported my sick delusions and also backed up the idea that maybe I should Vlog my experience for the newsletter. Now to preface, there is nothing more embarrassing than admitting to yourself that you are buying what a celebrity is selling. Especially when that “celebrity” is of the Reality TV genre. Because the odds of it being a cash grab are 90-1. I don’t know if that’s an actual odd but you get it…right? right?!

I wanted to go to this podcast because I genuinely thought it would be a good time, but I needed someone responsible and adult to support the decision. So thank you Natalie for enabling me. The second Natalie left my house I bought my $68 ticket to paradise and the next day I found myself drinking a Gin Smash wondering where it all went wrong. The show was OBVIOUSLY terrible but I made a promise to vlog and goddamnit I loved every minute of it. So please enjoy my night with Stassi:

So there you have it! I went to Stassi Schroeder Live and all I got was my period… Unrelated occurrence I’m sure, but I can’t deny they both happened at the same time. But yes my friends I was lured in by celebrity and this time it didn’t work out. But celebrity influence isn’t ALWAYS bad. This brings me to my next segment which is:

This week I got an incredible message from my pal Alessandra Vite. She is a comedian and writer and your new Internet Friend. You can find her performing all over Toronto, as well as contributing to The Beaverton, and most recently on CBC’s latest documentary series “Day Jobs” .

Alessandra reached out to me with one of the best messages I have received in a long time. She just bought a bra from Kim Kardashians new shape-wear line “SKIMS” and she wanted to give me the rundown. I have never felt more seen. She was very kind to write a review for the RG Newsletter and I am so happy she did. Enjoy.

Like most people, I don’t really like the Kardashians. They represent a lot of what I hate; the immense disparity between the wealthy and poor and ads for diarrhea lollipops.

However, it cannot be denied that GOD DAMN KIM K. CAN DESIGN A BRA. 

Yes that’s right I purchased a bra by Kim Kardashian’s body wear line “Skims”, and it’s good... real good. 

I bought it like I buy everything online- waking up at 5 in the morning for no reason, seeing something pretty, and then using PayPal so I don’t have to get out of bed to get my credit card. But tbh, this wasn’t that much of an impulse purchase since I had been tracking this lingerie/shape-wear line for months. Kim first peaked my interest when I saw the various colours and body types she was showcasing her wares on. For every bra, bodysuit and shape-wear item she had a model in every size wear it in pictures and videos. People with clothing lines, DO THIS. Also make your clothing line size inclusive for the love of god, you’ll make more money you fucks. 

This particular morning she was showcasing this body tape that allows you to tape your boobs up so you can wear backless and low cut stuff. I’ve been using shitty boob tape for years and this is a real game changer. But nuts to that, I wanted something pretty so I decided to go for the Cotton Plunge Bralette in Kyanite (blue). I really hope Kyanite is a real colour and not a play on the name Kanye.

OMG, ALL THE KIMOJIS, IT’S SO GOOD. When I opened the package I was worried because it looked teeny but it fit perfectly. It also is super soft and it keeps your boobs so high up with  no underwire. Plus the back doesn’t squish my back fat which a lot of bralettes with thinner straps do. I wish I could wear it as a bikini top because it’s so pretty on. It has this mesh on the inside that is so nice and feels really secure. Also the blue is like an elegant blue, which I’m aware makes me sound like a maniac but it’s just the truth. 

So if this newsletter goes viral and Kim K sees this, please send me all the bras and thongs you can! No shape-wear tho, let my body be all round and free, thank you!

LINK TO THE BRA

https://skims.com/products/cotton-plunge-bralette-kyanite

Follow Alessandra on Twitter and on Instagram

All in all I don’t regret going to Stassi’s Podcast Tour. In fact it pushed me out of my comfort zone. I took myself out on a real nice date and I had a fun time. Solo fun times?! Who knew?!! I am definitely going to do that more often. Usually I would see an event happening that I would die to go see and because I can’t find someone to go with I stay home. Not anymore. Be the good time you want to see in the world. Vite took a leap and got the bra of her dreams, and I enjoyed a Gin Smash while watching a glorious train wreck. Truly a win win.

I know I said I would chat Vanderpump Rules trailer but Natalie and I cover it on RG so have a listen and if you need follow up I can always attach it to next weeks. Also, what do you think of the video component? Do we like?! Let me know!

Have a great week and see you next Monday!

The Voice Of A Generation

RG vol.1

Hello Internet Friends, 

Welcome to the first Regular Girls Newsletter! I am excited, thrilled, terrified, but ultimately ready to accept my title as the new voice of my generation…

I’m really trying to not put pressure on myself or this newsletter.  I want it to grow as this community grows (obviously #nopervs) but I can’t tell you how hard it is for me to just start small. I have too many ideas and not enough platforms to do them on! The sayings “one day at a time”, “one foot forward”, “only have ONE podcast” are truly and utterly lost on me. So what is a woman to do? Or more specifically a woman who has an overwhelming urge for total world domination?! 

I talked to my lovely friend/wonderfully talented writer Anne.T. Donahue (follow her newsletter HERE) and she gave me an amazing piece of advice… JUST START WRITING. Which if I’m being honest was a new concept for me. Just do the thing? Usually I just daydream about the thing I want to do, instantly imagine the success and accolades that will come of it, sit down to actually put in the work, immediately find every reason under the sun to not do it, and then spend the rest of my life wondering where it all went wrong…

So this “just start writing” concept is new but I am determined to try it on for size. Plus, Anne is truly one of the most hard working and driven human beings I have ever known so out of fear of embarrassing her and our friendship I am going to take her advice and just start writing... While daydreaming of starting a third podcast and the outfits I’ll wear on my future book tour, obviously...

Now, this newsletter will cover a variety of topics but going with todays theme of START SMALL, I am going to start with just two segments. The first one is “Let Me Influence You”. This is the segment where I break down all things beauty and DEMAND you listen to me! The second is “Internet Friend Of The Week” where I feature one of my favourite online accounts you NEED to know about! This week it’s the wonderful Jan Caruana and her incredible Food Blog “Two Little Sandwiches” .

ENJOY!

So if you have been listening to the POD for any amount of time or have known me one second or less, you know that I really should have become a beauty influencer. A full on Glamazon Monster who tells you to like and subscribe, while wearing a bold cut crease cat eye and lips plumped to the size of two watermelons. But alas that is not me. I am instead a thin haired comedian with a penchant for cheek redness and budget beauty... 

But when I find a product I love I have no other choice but to share and demand you TRUSS ME. And yes, I left out the T. I am a dramatic woman who considers proper grammar purely optional…

These are my two Beauty Picks for the week.

Alexa Chung Has A YOUTUBE CHANEL And We Are All Late To The Party.

I recently came across Alexa Chung’s YouTube Channel and honestly I wasn’t prepared for how into I would be. Alexa Chung is a British writer, television presenter, model, and fashion designer. And above all else, she is the woman who makes me want bangs all of the time. If I bring in another photo of Alexa Chung to my hairstylist she will disown me. I digress.

At first I was skeptical of her YT channel but I soon realized she is the beauty blogger we NEED right now. The whole beauty blogger scene is evolved into this dark place of high expectations that leave us feeling helpless. Everyone is so polished, and fake. Not to mention SO rich, and detached from reality. Which sucks because I love watching tutorials, but with $5000 foundations these tutorials have become unwatchable. This is where Alexa Chung comes in and washes all that BS away. Her advice is useful, her style is full on goals, truly it’s so good it makes me weep. And the plus side is you probably have similar items already in your closest. She’s not fussy or uptight and you finish watching her videos and feel like you have every piece in your closet or makeup drawer to get the look. THE LOOK! Even for those like myself with thin ass hair and a not so secret desire to look cool and effortlessly Parisian 24/7.

I first dipped a toe with her tutorial for getting “Easy Messy Waves” and from there I deep dived like my life depended on it. The best part of Alexa Chung, for me, is that she has THIN HAIR AND TALKS ABOUT IT!! She’s not parading around with four wigs on acting like she has just been gifted since birth with the power of volume. She is honest and works with what she has instead of fighting it. And because of that I listen and TRUSS HER!

My thin hair has never been so happy and taken care of. This tutorial makes volume and texture easy, even if your hair has the emotional fragility of 3 million Eeyores.

Things I took away from her Messy Hair Tutorial (with the help of her hair stylist):

  1. I am keeping my hair on the curler for FAR TOO LONG.

  2. I don’t need to use product, besides heat protectant, before I blow dry.

  3. Use Dry Shampoo & Texturizing Spray even with clean hair.

Which brings me to my next “TRUSSSSS ME”, but this one is $$$.

$ THE MUST HAVE THAT COSTS MONEY $

If you have thin hair then you know how hard the struggle is to not only achieve volume but to also maintain your style. But worry no more, I have found your solution! Good news, it works! Bad news, she is one expensive little lady…

ORIBE TEXTURIZING SPRAY

These two range from $45-$50 and I bought mine from Amazon and Nordstrom. My personal preference is the Dry Thickening Spray but they both work great. They smell amazing and they HOLD YOUR STYLE and GIVE YOU VOLUME! Yes the price tag SUCKS but once you leave the mall and finish guilt crying on the bus ride home you will never regret it. You will feel amazing and finally have the hair you’ve always wanted.

Now if this is not in your budget I highly suggest using Dry Shampoo (my fav right now is DOVE’s Dry Shampoo), just keep it far away from the root and try spraying underneath the hair. This technique will save you from that white dust look that screams “I chose sleep over a shower Diane! Look away LOOK SO FAR AWAY!”.

Sidebar: Everyone should be watching Baroness Von Sketch Show.

Both of these little beauty do’s have saved me in the last few weeks and it would be CRUEL not to share. Let me know what you think of Alexa Chung’s TY channel. And if you splurge on Oribe let me know how it works out!

ALSO if you have beauty trends or products you want me to try and chat about reach out and let me know!

I would be REMISS if I didn’t end this newsletter without introducing you to your next favorite account on the internet. Each week I am going to give a shoutout to a person, place, or thing (hello Oribe!) that you NEED to follow. These are my fav Internet pals that may or may not know how deep my love is for them. In fact, they may not know me at all, but just like this newsletter our relationship needs to start somewhere…

This week I wanted to feature truly one of the most talented women I have ever had the honour of knowing, Jan Caruana. Jan is an award winning comedian and writer who I was blessed to perform alongside at The Second City, in Toronto. She has recently launched an incredible Food Instagram TWO LITTLE SANDWICHES that will be a guaranteed boost to your day. Her captions are heartwarming and inspirational, and her food is delicious. She was also the most recent guest on Regular Girls! We chatted Instagram, building a brand, and we unpack why being vulnerable and authentic online feels so scary. You would be INSANE to not catch up.

JAN ON RG

I asked Jan if she wanted to contribute a special post just for the RG Newsletter and lucky for us she said YES! So enjoy an extra little taste of Two Little Sandwiches, and after you read this FOLLOW HER!

FOLLOW Two Little Sandwiches


Well we did it, the first RG Newsletter is done. Next week expect Pop Culture chats about the new VANDERPUMP RULES trailer. I linked it so you can catch up. I am excited about where this will go and I hope you are too. If you have topics, ideas for segments, or have Q’s you need me to A, reach out, but remember #nopervs forever and always…

Thanks for following and have a great week!

-Stacey

365 Day Overhaul



April 15th. Snow Storm. 3:45 pm. Woman reaches for computer and suddenly realizes she has a tinyletter after many months...possibly a full year of neglect.

Blame it on the spring time snow storm in Toronto, or the soft broadway tracks playing in the background of my apartment I’m subletting, or the fact that I am still in bed at now 3:50pm, but I am feeling nostalgic. Earlier this week I was gifted with a “Remember This” moment from Facebook. Now, I usually pay no attention to those Facebook “memories” because being reminded of how thin my arms were when I was 23 is the harshest punishment anyone could ever receive. But this week a photo popped up of me, arms covered, from my time in Los Angeles about a year ago and I felt like I was looking at a stranger. It was like looking at a stranger. Who was this 31 year old woman, spending her birthday wearing a big hat and petting a cow? This story isn’t about the cow.

Now, to be clear I wasn’t looking at this picture and feeling bad for myself, I was looking at it and realizing how SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN TO YOU IN 365 DAYS. Am I the only one who forgets that? We always focus on how life is short but can we discuss how life is also very friggen long. I am in no way the same person I was 365 days ago. How did that happen? Or more importantly when? What day did it all change? Was it a Monday? Wednesday? Was it that Saturday in 2017 where I mediated for like 4 minutes until I got hungry?

There have been big life changes within those 365 days but when did they all roll into each other and culminate into a new version of me? When did my eyes start seeing things differently? When did my heart start feeling differently? Why am I softer in some ways and harder in others? When did I just become this new version of myself?

WHO ALLOWED THIS?

I don’t remember having that discussion with my body. Did it just change overnight? Was I really not hungover that one Thursday? Was it just my body dealing with a 365 day overhaul? Did I shed my old 2017 skin? I hope not because that’s because snakes are full ew. But I feel like I have. Double ew.

Friends of mine have mentioned that they’ve noticed a change, which makes me think when was the last time they hung out with the old me? When did they share their last laugh, cry, beer, fight, hug with the 31 year old, cow petter, me? And no, I won’t talk about the cow.

When did they get introduced to this new 2018 version? And, when will they unknowingly say goodbye to this current version before the next 365 day overhaul? When will I ever pet a cow again?

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE COW!

I am still in bed. And have chalked this day up as a “right off” or “write off” if I was punny, which I’m not. So “right off” it is. But is today. April 15th 2018 an actual right off? Or did I wake up new?

In 365 days you can fall in love, fall out of love, move, lose weight, gain weight, love yourself, hate yourself, feel great, barf, laugh, cry, laugh cry, move again, feel overwhelmed, embarrass yourself, get your shit together, lose your shit, feel so profoundly lonely, buy something you love, sell something you love because you are moving AGAIN! Meet new people who change your perspective on the world, get diarrhea from a restaurant you vow to never go to again, lose friends, pet a cow, go back to that same restaurant but have a great time which makes you forget about that one time you got super bad diarrhea...and suddenly. With no warning. You are changed. New. Different. With wider arms and a diarrhea story that no one ever wants to hear about. Why have I forgotten all of these details?

I struggle with being present. It’s really hard for me because it means that I have to show up and be myself every day and to be honest avoiding is kinda my specialty. But because I haven’t really been present these last 365 days I am now just meeting this new version of myself, and I feel guilty because had I been a little more present I could have already known her. Noticed the changes and embraced them. Instead I’m just casually dating myself now and seeing if I want this new me to stick around. Does that make sense or do I need to see a doctor?

I shouldn’t need a social media platform with a troubling privacy policy to remind me of what happened. But sometimes it’s nice. Because forgetting about that cow, big hat, and where you’ve been and where you are is a nice reminder.

Thanks for reading. I’m rusty. I hope you stick around.

-Stacey

instagram/twitter: @TheStaceyMcG

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